January 2008
22 posts
“I’ve always wanted to learn how to relate to others.”
– to coworker 292
sodas in the closet
“Just a reminder: plasticware and sodas in the locked closet are for meeting purposes only.” an email from supervisor 112 addressed to all department members
insulated bags
“We appreciate your support of the campaign, and hope you enjoy your environmentally-friendly, insulated lunch bags.” an email from colleague 83 addressed to all users
the toilet you pass by
“The toilet closest to the window are now working. Please do not used the toilet you pass by first until further notice.” an email from coworker 49 addressed to all department members
“I think it has something to do with evolution.”
– supervisor 99
a lot of interest
“For those of you who were curious about Pet Taxi, I am planning to take pictures to document the move. There has been a lot of interest amongst my friends, including one who just moved herself plus 19 cats from Philadelphia to Denver in a rented RV. If you would like to be added to the list of people who get emailed copies of the pictures, please let me know.” an email from coworker...
I am a teenager
“Supervisor 99 has problems. Earlier today she asked me if I’m in my 20s. Other options: I am in my 30s. I am a teenager.” an email to coworker 333
a pizza party for her efforts
“Congratulations to colleague 16! Her name was selected from among those who correctly answered the questions in the employee trivia quiz. She and her coworkers will enjoy a pizza party for her efforts.” an email from colleague 83 addressed to all users
any other color that you desire
“Please do not sign your timesheet in red ink. Feel free to use any other color that you desire. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.” an email from colleague 660
“How about, ‘Turn your voice into a giant laser show and get tickled with...”
– colleague 766
inversely proportional
“I think our feelings toward each other must be inversely proportional. At the height of her ‘abuse coworker 77’ trip, she had me in her MySpace top 8.” an email from coworker 77
“Is the word ‘Chicana’ OK?”
– supervisor 99
what to say and do
“Ever left a conversation wishing you’d said something different? This fun and interactive workshop will give you real world tips on ‘what to say and do’ when dealing with difficult people.” an email from colleague 256 addressed to all users
a probable metaphor
“…e.g., dinosaur, fighter plane, etc.—a probable metaphor for cultural imperialism.” a document submitted by coworker 321
“It’s going to be a hot time in the pumpkin patch.”
– coworker 292
always good
“I think it’s always good to lead with a shot of a crepe-paper-skinned geriatric receiving a breast exam in an evening gown.” an email to coworker 292
take it home
“To give us energy, some of us have brought in candy. If you choose a candy bar with peanuts in it, please either take it home or eat it outside to keep the peanut aroma out of the office. Many thanks.” an email from supervisor 112 addressed to all department members
“I sorry! I feel awful because it is a long document.”
– coworker 321
join me
“Please join me in welcoming everyone to their new positions.” an email from coworker 125 addressed to all users
random still photos
“A photographer will begin taking random still photos starting tomorrow. We will have signs posted alerting the public of this activity.” an email from supervisor 454 addressed to all users
“I do notice you chew gum.”
– janitor 105
insert clip art
“The ‘Insert Clip Art’ feature momentarily lessens my situational depression.” an email to coworker 292
gorgeous wooden kayak
“Immediately after the holidays I will begin to build a gorgeous wooden kayak.” an email from supervisor 521 addressed to all users